Don’t take it personal if they are embarrassed by you  According to Dr. Anthony Wolf, author of the book “Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?” teens develop an allergy to parents because the teens are shedding anything and anyone who is connected to their “baby-self.” Relax and know that you will be able to regain closeness with then on the “over side” of this development area, when they move into young adulthood.Know their friends and their friends’ parents Your job is to allow your teen to have experiences to help them grow, yet keep them safe at the same time. Maintaining this balance means knowing who they hang out with and how much freedom to give them. Some teens are left unattended by their adult caregivers and too much freedom can invite in mischief and dangerous exploration. Create the kind of home where your teen’s friend will want to hang out more. Hang out with them often when they’ll let you do it Spending time with a teen is very different than with a school-age child. It requires abstaining from judging his or her likes or dislikes and being interested. I’ve been known to let me teenage daughter paint my toenails or even watch a movie that I really had no interest in seeing. I even developed a temporary fascination with a band she liked, just to create something I could share with her. Remain calm and participative when they banter and argue for more freedoms If you’re decided to be an engage parent with boundaries and limits for your teen, chances are good you’re going to hear the claim, “None of my friends parents are this strict!” When you teen attempts to argue your limits, don’t get angry and remain engaged in the banter. Stick to your beliefs but also be a good listener. If you can be swayed to bend a rule now and then that doesn’t pose a danger to your teen, you could end up earning the “cool parent” title without even knowing it. Let them have a say in creating a regular schedule for completing homework  Every teen can’t automatically begin his or her homework upon arriving at home. Discuss a schedule for homework with your teen and come to an agreement that both of you can live with. The schedule should be a regular, fixed routine that can be followed easily. Document what is agreed upon and post it somewhere. Some teens might use a parent’s faded memory of past discussions to bend the rules in their favor. The home work belongs to your teen, not to you, so avoid micromanaging their work.Establish a rule of no entertainment electronics during homework time Ipods, cell phones, ipads, televisions, and computers are easy distractions for a teen when it comes to something that isn’t fun to do, such as homework. Establish a rule that electronics are banned during scheduled homework time. Enforce the “no electronics” rule Monday through Thursday, even if there is no homework on a particular day. If your teen really does have a homework-free day, the time ordinary reserved for homework should be used for anything creative that does not include electronics or friends. Teens should be getting themselves up in the morning and doing their own laundry Creating responsibility in advance can be difficult because it’s sometimes easier just to “do it ourselves.” Doing it ourselves also makes us feel needed when we begin feeling like we’re losing our babies. But parents must make the time to begin training their teens to become self-sufficient, capable and responsible. Handing over some responsibilities also eliminates arguments and blame when teens don’t plan well in advance. Allow them to make dinner once in a while  You teen would love to have more say in things than you might think. Take something like the family dinner and turn it completely over to them once in a while. It can be a great way to help them feel capable and important in the family. Let them come up with the shopping list or let them do that with you as well. If something doesn’t come out just right or how “you would do it,” refrain from criticizing and give them lots of encouragement for having made the meal.Avoid allowing a television to be placed in their bedroom The entertainment industry isn’t in the business of protecting kids and teens, that’s the job of the parent. And don’t just blindly accept their rating system either. During the teen years, your child is developing an awareness of who they are and what they will become. Allowing them to watch too much unsupervised material on television will have them fixated on inappropriate behaviors and not focusing on their internal gifts and potential talents. The Internet should only be used in a common area where parents can be present According to organizations like childrenonline.org, the risks to a child or teen’s safety are greater than the benefits of allowing them to have unsupervised access to the Internet. Thanks to sites such as chatroulette.com and omegle.com, our teens can be connected visually and audibly to predators with access to the Internet. Youtube is also not in the business of safeguarding your child or teen and is another popular site that provides free access to adult-natured material at the press of a button. Your teen will have ample opportunity to explore these things on their own as they move into their young adult years. |
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Categories7 Habits of Highly Effective PeopleAttention Creativity Discipline LIstening Parent Education Parenting Positive Parenting Present awareness Project School school age Spanking Teens Toddlers and Preschoolers
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